


The Three 'F's

by SpellCasterLight



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Relationship Advice, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29330139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpellCasterLight/pseuds/SpellCasterLight
Summary: Tenten teaches Hinata about the three 'F's. Shino doesn't really know what to think. [Shino x Tenten] [Background One Sided Naruto x Hinata]
Relationships: Aburame Shino/Tenten
Kudos: 6





	The Three 'F's

**Author's Note:**

> Authors Notes: Ever get random dialogue that pops into your head and you just have to write it down and do something with it? This is the result of that. Also, the 'advice' given isn't actually advice. Don't attempt to use. I beg of you xD
> 
> Warnings: Light swearing and terrible relationship advice!

Sitting in the last of the day's sunlight, the members of Team's Eight and Gai sat quietly eating their snacks and taking in water after a late joint training session. Lee, fixated on training to the point that Kiba questioned if it was healthy or insanity, had ran off, leaving Hinata, Shino, Kiba, Tenten and Neji.

"They say-" started Kiba suddenly, hint of teasing in his voice. "-that Naruto's supposed to be back in the leaf village in a few weeks or so." He sprawled in the grass, side eyeing Hinata.

At the mention of Naruto's name, Hinata became alert and interested in the conversation. Light touched her eyes and colour rushed to her cheeks; It was like someone turned on a Christmas tree.

Tenten, the only other girl of the group, noticed the sudden change. Acting casual and finishing a sweet from a packet she spoke up. "Hinata; can I ask a question?"

"Uh, ye-yes Tenten, what is it?"

"When Naruto gets back are you actually going to do something about your crush?"

Hinata's face went beetroot and Neji choked on his own spit.

"I mean you've fancied him for what? How long? Maybe it's time to take the initiative. Men are stupid that way."

Shino found his eyebrows meeting in a frown. That slight against his gender had been said so matter-of-factly. The looks on Neji and Kiba's face telling him that they had the same thoughts.

Hinata put her hands on her lava hot cheeks. "I-I-"

"And what? You're gonna tell her what to do?" Kiba asked, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Tenten seemed to think it over, scanning her companions before putting down her half-empty packet of sweets.

"I'm glad Lee isn't here for this," Tenten muttered. "Alright Hinata listen up."

That got not only Hinata's attention, but everyone else's as well.

"I'm gonna teach you a lesson my mother taught me when she thought I was old enough to hear it."

Hinata, seemingly overflowing with embarrassed curiosity, shuffled over to be in front of the older girl, whether the curiosity was from Tenten speaking about her family, who she never talked about, or about the lesson she was about to learn Shino didn't know.

"Okay here it is; if you want to get a guy, any guy, all you've got to do is follow this one rule. The rule of the three 'F's'."

Kiba gave an undignified snort. "That what?"

"The rule of the three 'F's'," Tenten repeated looking unfazed.

"Have-have you ever used this rule?" Hinata asked looking genuinely curious.

Tenten gave a small motion of shifting her head side to side. "A few times, on missions where I've had to get information from a guy, there hasn't been anyone in my own life I've even wanted to use it on."

Shino shouldn't have been curious. This was going to be some silly girl thing that sounded like it came from a magazine and made no sense but yes, he was in fact, quite curious as to what the weapons user was about to say.

"Okay the first 'F'," Tenten counted on her first finger. "Feed him."

"This one is easy; you already know his favourite food so all you have to do is treat him to ramen. I would suggest not Ichiraku, simply because of the next steps; might be best to make it yourself for him somewhere private like his own house."

When Hinata, or anyone else, gave any objections she held out her second finger.

"The second 'F'. Fool him."

"Fo-fool him?" Hinata asked with a tilt of her head.

"Yea; you fool him into believing he's somehow special. The easiest things are something along the lines of 'oh you're so strong' or 'oh you're so smart' but I would suggest, because you actually like the guy, just be honest, tell him you've always admired him and you look up to him; but for this 'F' to work you've got to lay it on thick."

She made a motion like she was putting a large amount of butter on a slice of bread.

"Don't hold back, don't be subtle, lay it all out on the table. Understand?"

"You-" Hinata pushed her fingers together looking a little distressed. "-you make it sounds so easy, so-so simple."

"It is though." Tenten pushed on with a lazy shrug. "Hinata; men are pretty simple creatures, there's no great mystery or anything."

Kiba spoke up then. "I'm not sure guys but I think we're being insulted here."

"It does sound that way doesn't it?" Neji added looking side on at Tenten like he was seeing her for the first time.

Shino couldn't quite seem to decide what to think.

"And the third 'F'," Tenten held up three fingers now. "Fuck him."

Neji released an inhuman cry of embarrassment, Hinata blushed crimson with her jaw on the floor and Kiba let our an angry 'WHAT?!'.

Shino was suddenly thankful for his undercoat's large collar because he, himself, was gapping like a fish.

Tenten quickly threw her arms out with an embarrassed grin. "It's only for the alliteration! Everyone calm down."

Shino had a feeling that last sentence was directed at the other two boys because they both looked like they were about to start spitting fire.

"It doesn't mean she has to have sex with Naruto!" Hinata looked like she was about to burst into flames at any moment from how red her face was. "It just means she must, at some level, be physically intimate with him."

"You aren't defending yourself well Tenten!" The brunette's teammate half screamed; you could almost hear his teeth grinding together.

"Oh calm down Neji, just listen," the brown-haired girl turned back to the female Hyuga. "Like I said sex isn't exactly what you would be aiming for here. Only aim for what you're comfortable with."

Tenten pulled an almost apologetic smile. "But like the second 'F' this one also needs to be laid on thick. A hand hold or a quick hug isn't going to cut it. It's too subtle and men, especially Naruto, won't pick up on it. You need to at least kiss him."

At the mere thought of kissing Naruto Hinata started to openly freak out.

"You need to be physical enough with him that he will think about it, that his own mind will connect the thoughts of you and sex. His own brain will do the work for you, he will constantly think about you, want you."

Tenten lifted her chin in thought.

"But if you did sleep with him it would definitely move things along quicker."

And with that Hinata's completely mortified brain decided it had had enough and she passed out.

"Hinata!" Both Neji and Kiba ran to the girl's side.

"Tenten that was most improper!"

"Yea! You know how embarrassed she gets!"

Tenten, at least, did look a little apologetic. "I said she didn't need to sleep with him! I wanted to help; I want them to get together as much as anyone else!"

"And you think your 'advice' is going to help?!"

Tenten's shoulders slumped. "Oh come on guys, don't be mad."

"I will deal with you later," Neji basically hissed before starting to lift Hinata to take her home.

Hinata, being the dead weight she was, took both Neji and Kiba to carry her out of the training grounds towards the Hyuga compound where she could sleep it off.

Shino stood to leave a few moments later but turned when he didn't hear any noise indicating Tenten was getting up. She had simply moved to the other side of the log she was previously sitting on, towards the sunset, her back now leaning against the wood, away from him.

He slowly walked to her side to find her sitting slightly slumped into herself holding the small paper bag from earlier looking glum.

"I was just trying to help," she looked up towards him and he could now confirm the quiet dismay on her features. "I didn't mean to make everyone mad…"

"Your intentions, as honourable as they may have been, were a little-" He searched for the right word.

"Blunt?"

"Forward; I was going to say."

She turned back to the paper bag in her hands for a second before looking at him again.

"Wanna sit?"

Shino didn't feel truly comfortable with leaving the older girl in her current emotional state so did sit beside her to watch the sun set.

She held up the bag to him. "Want a bon-bon? I made them myself."

Thinking it rude to refuse, he took one of the small round sweets from the bag and placed it in his mouth, after a few chews he spoke. "These are delicious."

"You think so?" Tenten smiled. "They're pretty much the only thing I can make, another thing I learned from my mother."

"May I ask who your mother was?" He felt compelled to ask because of her previous advice to his teammate. "That she would give you such advice as you mentioned earlier."

"My mother was a call-girl," Tenten set the bag down to her other side, not looking at him, he sensed she probably felt judged by the admission. "If men didn't like her there was no food on the table," the weapon user sighed rubbing her hands together. "And I don't remember ever being hungry."

"I guess she just assumed I would follow her path," The girl confessed finally looking at him.

He didn't know what to say to that so said nothing; but only after a few seconds of silence he felt the need to break it, if not it would surely suffocate them both.

"Do you truly believe matters of the heart to be so basic?"

That wasn't what he meant to say, what he had meant to say he didn't know, but that wasn't it. She did however give him the honour of seeming to think it over.

"I don't know," she admitted toeing the grass for a moment. "I mean; with all the men I saw just fall at my mother's feet, the same way Naruto and Lee fall all over themselves for Sakura for years I just-" With every word she spoke her eyes seem to become a shade darker. "-I guess I haven't really seen much evidence to the contrary you know?"

She looked him right in the eye, not that she would fully know that with his sunglasses, and his Kikaichu seemed to buzz at the intensity of the moment.

"I guess I haven't seen any man prove me wrong yet."

He didn't know why; but he felt the uncontrollable urge to remove that belief from her.

"Maybe you haven't been around the right men."

She tilted her head, like she was taking him in before giving the smallest, shyest smile. "Maybe."

A cold breeze cut through the training grounds now the sun had all but set and Tenten rubbed her arms for warmth.

He pulled down his hood and moved to remove his arms from his green over coat. "Take my coat I would not wish you to become ill."

Tenten's smile solidified into a firm one. "What a gentleman."

She slipped on his coat; the coat so large on her it looked like she had stolen it from her father.

He watched her as she hugged herself in it, and when he saw her close her eyes and take in a deep breath with her face in the coats collar his own breath caught.

"You smell good," she admitted her cheeks lightly dusting pink not meeting his eyes. "Like morning summer dew on freshly cut grass."

Without his coat pockets to hide his hands in, a nervous habit he had never grown out of, he rubbed them absentmindedly to keep them warm against the cold instead. He nearly flinched when Tenten took a gentle, but firm hold on his hands and started to rub her thumbs over them.

"Now you're cold," she let out a small laugh as she continued to rub his hands in a vain attempt to put heat back into them.

When she had moved to be sitting in front of him he wasn't aware but he wasn't going to complain; her presence so close to him seemed to want to warm him from the inside out and with the light breeze still blowing he could smell her perfume of something light and foreign making his head feel lighter.

Still holding his hands their eyes met and again his hive hummed in approval, or maybe that was his own endorsement at the undivided attention he was getting from the beautiful brunette in front of him influencing them.

One hand came away from their joint hold to edge towards the clip holding his undercoats collar together; never breaking eye contact. When her hand reached the clip, she licked her lips nervously and he drank in the sight.

"Can-Can I?"

He didn't reply, not verbally, something in the air not wanting him to break the stillness around them more than needed, so he covered her hand with his free one and helped her undo the attachment making his collar open.

There was a beat before she held onto the side of his coat for stability and kissed him.

She tasted like the bon-bon sweets they had had earlier and warmth; if warmth was a flavour; and when he pushed his tongue further into her mouth to gather more of that tantalising taste he could feel her groan from somewhere in the back of her throat and grip his hand and coat tighter.

When he pulled back merely an inch to take in air, he had only enough time to be blessed with a radiate smile that made his heart skip over a beat before she kissed him again and interlocked their fingers.

Shino froze somewhere into their fourth long, delicious kiss as an uncomfortable idea slotted into place; when he pulled back Tenten frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Did you just use the three 'F' rule on me?"

A second passed where Tenten seemed to stare at him before her jaw dropped slightly and an amazed and embarrassed look settled over her features. She had; and whether it made it worse or not, she hadn't even realised she had done it.

"Is-" He put some space between them so he could put his fuzzy brain back together. "-Is that why you kissed me? To prove your rule worked?"

Tenten's panic was instant. "No! No I swear-"

"Then why did you?"

She grabbed his arms before he could pull away. "I-you-you're a good listener; and I like your voice, it's soothing and I like your smell and I just-I just wanted to. Not for some stupid rule."

The longer he sat there, not moving away but not moving towards her either, he could feel her start to shake from fear and worry.

"Shino..."

The way she said his name, so open, so honest, so caring, so begging him to believe her. She couldn't be lying, not when she said his name like that. He took her cheeks in his hands again and kissed her. The way she wrapped around him, like she refused to let him go made his breath catch.

The three 'F' rule was never brought up again in the entirety of their relationship; but Tenten did have the nerve to look like she knew a secret the whole day of Hinata and Naruto's wedding.

Years later; when their own daughter asked about how they got together, he simply placed his hand over his wife's mouth, cutting her off and told Mina to go to bed.


End file.
